a new toy and a new tooth

Raegan and I just got back from Baltimore where we visited Grandma and Pop Pop. We went up yesterday and came back today so that we could visit with Grandma before she has surgery tomorrow ( she probably won't be able to hold Raegan for a while after her surgery so I thought I would give her a chance to get her "raegan fix"). We had a good time going shopping, going for walks and visiting. When we got there Raegan got to play with a new toy Grandma and Pop Pop got for her, it was a sing along stage toy and she loved it. It's perfect for her now that she can sit up and she loves looking at herself in the mirror. She can't say thank you yet but I think the smile on her face was thank you enough for Grandma and Pop Pop. Raegan didn't sleep very well last night when we were there and today before we left Grandma figured out why. She noticed that Raegan's tooth finally started to come in. It wasn't there yesterday so it must have poked through last night! We had a good time at Grandma and Pop Pop's!

Blessing upon Blessing

I don't think i have ever taken for granted the fact that Raegan is our daughter and I don't think I ever will. She is the child that I dreamed of, cryed for, and prayed without ceasing for. She was the topic of many long, hard, deep talks I had with God and this was before I knew her. I look back at the past couple of years and remember some of the very difficult times that Josh and I went through. I had spinal cord surgery and afterwards faced some of my darkest days as I went into a deep depression. And then after I finally got to a point of healing from the surgery and depression Josh and I decided that we were at a point to start trying to have a baby. The next thing we knew we were dealing with another blow, infertility. I mention all of this to say that looking back I can see God's fingerprints in my life. I can look back at my whole life and see that God had a plan for each day, for each event whether "good" or " bad". It's amazing to see how truly God works all things out for good for those who love Him. And every day when I look at Raegan I am reminded of how truly blessed I am. As hard as life has been sometimes, I wouldn't change anything because I know that God had a plan and that included giving me the desire of my heart by giving me Raegan. I know that our reward for doing good will really come in heaven but I truly feel that God has already given me my reward here on earth. Josh and I were talking the other night about how God is so good, we ask for silver and yet He gives us gold.

This past week on another leg of our adoption journey I was reminded again of just how good God is to us. On friday we met with our adoption lawyer for the first time. We will have had Raegan with us for 6 months in august and that means we can begin the process of finalization. So we met with a lawyer to go over what needs to be done. She was recommended to us and was very nice on the phone. When she got here she was just so kind to us and you could just tell how caring she was. It was obvious that she was not in this occupation to make a lot of money, but because she truly cares for people. We had a really good and informative meeting with her and at the end of the meeting she said that she would like to pray for Raegan and for us. We were a little surprised by this but of course said "sure, that would be nice" and she proceeded to pray the most beautiful prayer I have ever heard anyone pray for our daughter and for us as her parents. It was so touching and even more than that it again was a reminder of how truly blessed we are. It was a reminder again of how loved we are by God and how much He does to take care of us, to carry us through on this journey. I never would have thought that a meeting with a lawyer would turn out this way. We have encountered so much encouragement, love and examples of faith through this journey. Raegan's name means "spiritual strength" and I think it is definitely the perfect name for her because this journey to her and now with her has done so much to strengthen my walk with God as well as others.

I'm sorry for getting so deep on this post. But I feel I can't not share these blessings for in sharing it may bless someone else the way it has blessed me.

Sitting Up!

Raegan is now starting to sit up pretty much unassisted. She still flops over to the sides when she is trying to reach for something but she is getting really strong and can sit for a while by herself. She also really loves to be held up so she can stand. I think she wants to walk! She may end up walking before crawling because she is still not crazy about being on her tummy even though she can roll over now.

She is growing so fast and her cute personality is really starting to show! She is starting to give hugs and reach out when she wants to be picked up ( i think that melts my heart more than anything!). We also discovered a baby carrier that she likes, the Ergo baby carrier ( i highly recommend it!). She didn't really seem to like the Kelty that we had and i looked and it only goes up to 25 lbs and our big, little girl is going to out grow that soon! So we bought an Ergo carrier and it is great. It doesn't hurt by back at all, and Raegan seems to be very comfortable in it. Now that we have the right carrier, we look forward to taking Raegan and Kona out for a family hiking trip whenever it cools down!

Also we just had our 5th home visit with the social worker and we have our last home visit in the beginning of August and soon after that we will be able to finalize the adoption of Raegan which is very exciting!

Happy Anniversary!

Today Josh and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary! On one hand it's hard to believe that it's already been 4 years and on the other hand it seems like longer because we have been through a lot in these last 4 years. It hasn't been the easiest 4 years but it has been the best for me because I have been able to spend it with Josh. I know this year I feel especially blessed to not only have been given the desire of my heart in my husband but to have been blessed together with Josh with our heart's desire, a child. I am truly amazed at God's faithfullness.


I truly love spending every day with Josh. He brings so much joy, laugther and encouragement to my life. And now it brings me even more joy to see him as a father. I wasn't sure if he wanted a child as much as I did but now it's clear to me that he did, it's clear that he was created to be not only a wonderful husband but also a wonderful father. I love to see the smile on Raegan's face when he walks in from work and I love to see the smile on his face too! I am truly blessed and I thank God for the beautiful family he has given to me.

I love you joshua! I look forward to many more years with you!

i'll just be sleeping...

The other night Raegan did something which really made Josh and I laugh. just to give some history first, Raegan has been a good night sleeper for some time but she is still kind of particular about how she gets put to bed at night. She gets her bath, swaddle ( what we call her baby burrito), bottle ( ba ba) and then off to bed. She doesn't do very well if this doesn't happen in that order because she is not a good napper so usually by bedtime she is very ready for bed. Well the other night we had given her a bath and put pajamas on but it was a little early for bed so we put her on her playmat and decided we would try to eat dinner before she needed to go to bed. She seemed fairly content when we put her down so we went ahead and ate our dinner, then we got into a conversation about something and we were just at the table talking and then I looked over at Raegan to see if she was still happy and her head was turned the other way so I walked over to her and saw that she was sound asleep! It was so cute and we were amazed because we didn't even hear a peep, she just decided to fall asleep there. I know most other people may not find this to be as cute as we did but if you haven't figured it out already, we think everything our little girl does is cute! she sure made us laugh that night.

Also we have discovered that Raegan's newest past time is now pot clanging. Everytime Josh or I are holding her when we are in the kitchen she smiles and reaches out towards the pots and pans hanging on the pot rack and when you put her where she can reach she loves to bang the pots together. This of course made me happy since my favorite place to be is in the kitchen! I know it doesn't mean she is necesarily going to like cooking like I do when she gets older but i can dream, cant' I? And I do look forward to teaching her how to cook and bake with me when she gets older but for now it's fun to see the pots and pans making her so happy ( they make me happy too Raegan!)

Big Weekend!

Raegan had a big 4th of July weekend. We went up to Baltimore to Grandma Barbie and Pop Pops house. Scott, Mary Kay, Jack, Libby and Collin came up from NC so Raegan got to meet her new little cousin. Everybody got dressed up in red, white and blue and we went to the Catonsville Parade! Raegan didn't seem too impressed... she fell asleep half way through but that's ok. Then we went to a picnic afterwards. On saturday Raegan took 2 good naps ( we must have worn her out!) and then when she woke up we ate steamed crabs and I made pizza for the big kids. Raegan and Collin had to stick to their bottles but Libby seemed to enjoy steamed crabs ( she is definitely an Auer!). Raegan enjoyed swinging in the backyard while Jack, Libby and Kona ran around outside. And then we walked up to the snowball stand for a snowball. We had a great time visiting with everyone and celebrating the 4th of July in Baltimore!

Raegan and Libby with their bandanas on

Raegan and daddy walking to the picnic after the parade

" Little Miss Hollywood" swinging in the backyard

Jack and his first snowball!

Kona and her first snowball!

5 Months Old and Squash

The big things that are going on in Raegan's life right now is that she turns 5 months old today and she is now eating squash! I roasted a butternut squash yesterday and pureed it for her and last night when Josh got home we gave her some. She ate a whole serving! She even tried to feed herself using the spoon. And she is trying to use her sippy cup by herself too. She is quite an independent little 5 month old. I am not sure how much she weighs now and she doesn't go back to the doctors until next month but she still feels heavy, although it looks like she may be starting to grow more tall rather than round. As far as the sounds in our house, she is now out of the screaming phase and more into a grunting/growling phase. It sounds like we have a little lion cub. I think I would rather have the screaming phase back but I am sure she will out grow the grunting/growling soon enough and hopefully just move on to talking or some other more pleasant sounds! But she continues to make us laugh and smile ( no matter what sounds she is making) and we continue to fall more in love with her every day!